I have a post I am working on which I planned on sharing (and sounded great while my gears were grinding) but I can’t seem to find the words at the moment to complete it. If I am being honest, it’s not really an uncommon thing for me because there are 34 posts in my queue that I started and abandoned for any given reason off my long list of excuses..I know I will get back to a few of the ramblings, (maybe even that one), that are waiting for me to complete at some point..but not today.
Today I need to step out of my echo chamber and away from the thinly veiled attempt at a passive/aggressive rant directed towards a hurt that was hurled at me behind my back (even that sentence I acknowledge is passive /aggressive) because I realize that even though I am feeling wounded and dismayed by the words of someone who is not necessarily close to me that I need to acknowledge that their motivation was more likely than not from a place of hurt. Today I must acknowledge that we are all hurting in our own ways and how we deal with that hurt is as individualized as we all are. Today I accept that even though being hurt by someone SUCKS ..especially when it was done in a manner that affects not just the person (in this case me) who is the target but also the persons close to the situation ..that I can’t contribute to hurling more pain at another person..the words of Brene Brown come to mind ..”it is so much easier to cause pain than to feel pain”
The other night I was witness to a painful moment in another family’s lives that reminded me that life is fragile..that the hurt that festers inside us fuels emotions and thoughts that seem incomprehensible to most and yet so real to the soul whose pain is beyond words, feels beyond repair. That pain drives people to act and feel things that I alternately know and do not want to know. In one instant, My perspective instantly and unequivocally broadened and changed ..My soul forever touched in a breath.I was simply on the other side of a fence, going about the normal daily events in my life as the unthinkable unfolded on the other side.. What happened? That is not my story to share..you can make assumptions…I made assumptions based on what I knew and I could not have been more wrong..the outcome was far more different than I expected and far more painful..fences and walls cannot block out raw emotions of grief ..the feelings were in the air , you could touch them and feel the sharp edges piercing like a blade through my heart and soul. I feel I was meant to learn this lesson ..that we are all hurting in manners large and small..don’t contribute to another person’s pain. Given the choice..choose kindness, choose forgiveness, choose empathy..choose to see the other side.
Whatever pain you feel, however hurt you are ..you matter to someone, You are valuable, you are cherished and that is often hard to see and even more difficult to accept..I know because I am often there wallowing in self doubt myself. I just realize I can no longer allow myself to selfishly work my shit out on other people..There is a saying that hurt people hurt people..I need to be the person who inspite of feelings of hurt, pain and damage does not hurt other people. I want to conclude this with a quote from Brene Brown..I referenced it above
“It is so much easier to cause pain than to feel pain and people are taking their pain and they are working it out on other people. And when you don’t acknowledge your vulnerability, you work your shit out on other people. Stop working your shit out on other people.” – Brené Bro