All over my Facebook I am seeing posts for National Sibling Day. Ah National Sibling Day, what can say about it? Well I can say a lot and the one thing I say is damn it I am unbelievably jealous of all of you.I look at your posts and wonder what it would be like on one hand..and know what it is like on the other hand. I was raised with my cousin John like we were siblings ..and he well he was a big brother in so many ways, right down to being a massive pain in the backside. However he was not my brother and we have not had much contact in the years since both of our mothers passed. I have my cousin Karen who is John’s big sister and with whom I was raised as well but she was a bit older than both of us and let’s be real here..John and I were not the easiest pair of shoes to break in and Karen had better things to do than deal with the likes of us. Still she was good to us and took us to movies and to play mini golf and bossed around like only Karen can. Thankfully we are reconnected..family is everything and I realize I loved her dearly when I was little..and I love her dearly now.
As for this sibling day business…This is the day that usually I like to be snarky and post something from National Only Child Day about how we only children are bright and so perfect our parents decided why tempt fate when you’ve got a good thing going. Well …while it may be true that those of us raised as only children are actually amazing..for me there is a lot of reading between the lines..and my mother really did not need to have any more children.
Truth is….I am not exactly an only child even though I was raised as such. I am my mother’s only child, that is true . My father kind of sorta was married to someone other than my mother when I came to be so I also have a half sibling (a side note here..I don’t believe in half or whole..family is family is family in my eyes) a sister to be exact, she is 8 years older than I am and she is my father’s daughter. My sister’s name is Kate and she too was raised as an only child. I used to wonder if Kate knew that I exist and one day I took a chance and began looking for her and my father..the answer is if she did not know before..she knew at last. Neither Kate nor my father ever reached out to me and I spent the next 20+ years doing all the things I did like raising my family and in the process becoming a rabid Irish Dance Mom (another story for another year) But then things happened..my kids grew up and did not need me quite so much and worse I got sick (this is not a pity post) and suddenly everything in my life that was go go go became slow slow slow. So I wanted to find out what Ancestry could do for me…
Well through Ancestry I discovered ..I am 68% Irish and British with Iberian and Scandinavian as well…basically I am a Black Irish Viking ..kind of badass if you ask me but badass is not the first word one thinks of when they think of me (If I am being honest here) I also found my father’s college yearbook and loads of information about his family like my grandparents names and my great grandparents names and where it is they come from..really amazing stuff for someone stuck at home on bedrest and in the middle of a pity party to discover. So I decided to take this a step further..I found a cousin via ancestry and then I found said cousin on Facebook and I reached out ..he responded but not as well as I hoped. This cousin was rather shocked to discover I am a relative and said he would talk to my sister and get back to me..yeah that did not happen.
I discovered in the meantime that my newfound cousin’s sister (also my cousin) is friends with my neighbor down the street and that they used to work together when my cousin was one of the managers at the supermarket I shop at in my town (she no longer is at my local store) I also discovered she is at least Facebook friends with one of the Walpole dance moms whose daughter attends the same middle/high school as my daughter..small world isn’t it..gets a little smaller too. My sister has a child who attended an agricultural high school that is regional ..the same school the neighbor’s child attends now. My sister and I walk the perimeters of the same circles even if by association.
Thanks to Ancestry DNA I was able to prove my paternity..a task made completely possible when Karen’s son also tested along with another first cousin. I was able to see I am matched rather strongly with my grandfather and great grandmother’s family the Bombards of upstate NY as well as discovered I have Duffy family members and King and Conneely from the Connemara Region of Galway ..I have a strong DNA match with people who are related to my father’s paternal side of his family..I have a whole new world opened up..but I still do not have my father or my sister. My father passed away in 2010 and I am going to guess from Alzheimer’s or something like it based on the obituary I found..my sister it seems (according to my cousin via facebook) is “Not interested in having anything to do” with me. Door shut..message received stay in your lane girl.