Let’s see a show of hands…how many of you have had that oh @#** moment just when you are about to close your eyes? You know who you are…You are the person sneaking out to the all night grocery store to pick up cupcakes or a pie for the bake sale at the kids’ school the next morning.. You are the one looking for the last remaining book covers at the 24 hour Walmart at 11 PM because the books needed to be covered yesterday.Sound familiar?
I am the queen of these moments, and what makes mine worse? Well I admit I can be on top of these events… I put the dates into my phone, I physically write them on the calendar, and I repeat to myself bake cupcakes, bake cupcakes…Then 10:00 PM strikes. I am comfortable in my pajamas, watching my favorite HGTV show (or better yet CHOPPED…oh I LOVE CHOPPED) and that horrible feeling shoots through me body like wildfire…I FORGOT to (fill in the blank here because I forget EVERYTHING)! That sinking feeling of failure rushes through your veins, your heart races and secretly you have that whiny moment where you say “I do not want to go out”… Truth is you have to run out right then and there becuase the adrenaline rush curses through you and you are unable to sleep until you are not the bad mother…again.
I can not stand those perfect mothers who have it all together, actually bake for the bake sale, make fabulous book covers out of wrapping paper or fancy store bags, look perfect at 7 am and look at me with pity in their eyes when they see my plate of store bought brownies (some with the wrappers still on them since I was too tired to remember to remove them all) i remind myself in moments like these that at least I am not MY mother. My mother would not have bothered to bake anything and we did not have the money to buy milk let alone cupcakes…
Sunday was no exception to this rule as Mr Murphy and his annoying law paid a visit in time for good old Patrick’s week ( I am Irish, he gets a week not just a day) I will not bore you with the details of the day except to say it was long. At 8:45 PM my youngest daughter texted me to remind me that Monday was the start of Spirit Week at her school and she was lacking the necessary materials to dress up for zoo day. ZOO DAY? My house is a freaking zoo on a regular basis, who knew we did not have anything acceptable to wear on zoo day. I understood the need to comply for the day since it was a no uniform day (yes this is for a private school…don’t judge) I found myself wandering the aisles of our local 24 hour Walmart aimlessly in search of appropriate zoo attire. By The time 9:30 rolled arround my eyelids were heavy, my temper was short and a wave of insanity was in control. The definition of insanity is a foolish or senseless act(ion) ..sort of like my walking up and down the same 4 aisles, looking at every shelf hoping that a new item would magically appear and solve my problem. I was having a moment of EPIC FAIL, wandering Walmart, desperate, feeling guilty and willing to spend whatever it took to right my wrong, becuase lets face it, the school had put this event on their calendar and in the daily online bulletin that I was too busy to read. I only carry my iPhone and iPad everywhere I have zero excuses to miss these things.
Ok a little side rant here…why is it that every single time I go to Walmart in search of a reasonably priced article of clothing for an event such as spirit week there are never any in my kids sizes? Do small people not shop at Walmart? the smallest size in this particular store was a medium and to be honest most were a large or bigger, now that would be great if I were shopping for myself but if this child weighs 100 lbs soaking wet that is a lot. Why am I still wandering the aisles of said walmart?
Finally I did find inspiration and half of my brain..there were 2 options zebra or peacock..I was armed with an iPhone and its camera. I texted a picture to the child and allowed her to decide. You may wonder why this child was not with me? Well kids the answer is simple she was home finishing her homework that she had all weekend to do, but saved until Sunday. Kind of the kid version of the OH @#** moment but intentional where mine is simply a brain fart and could possibly be a sign of perimenopause..